阎文赏析(三八特辑):家里大事小事谁做主,如何家庭和睦?

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一、阅读文章列表

  1. 妇女节话夫妻
  2. 从黄河改道谈假如蒋介石杀了毛泽东

二、背景介绍

注:下文凡是打了双引号的,都来自老阎网上诸多文章的正文原话和回复。

在谈及如何解决夫妻谁主事的难题之前,如何建立和睦的家庭,有两个很更重要的前提:

一,夫妻双方至少都是有德之人,老阎以下讨论夫妻双方都适用:“人大体可以分为四类:有才有德、无才有德、无才无德、有才无德。这个顺序是男人从最好到最坏的排序。女人要记住:嫁给无才无德的男人很糟糕,但不是最糟糕的。令你生不如死的是有才无德的男人。” “最糟糕的人是有才无德,比无才无德的人糟糕多了。如果说无才无德是人渣,而有才无德就是人渣里的人渣了。”

二,夫妻有相同的价值观:”把物质金钱看成无所谓,有什么可发生矛盾的?我就纳闷这事。人生如梦,要是因为金钱利益吵架,一家人互相之间斤斤计较个人利益得失,那是多么掉价的事儿啊?那还有脸活在世上?那跟蚂蚁一样了不是?所以,关键是对自己世界观的定位。把自己看成是蚂蚁级别的天天想着眼前利益,那就过蚂蚁一样的生活。如果你不享受物质金钱,那家庭关系立刻升华。当然,你得有生活技能。”

两个前提满足了,我们再来看看老阎的实践,他的家庭经验为夫妻谁主事的难题提供了一个很好解决方案:

“一个和睦的家庭,打从一结婚,严格地讲是打从谈恋爱那一天开始,男人就是学生了。

最重要的一条就是要家庭和睦。而要达到此目的,就要尊师,一辈子甘当学生,还要随着年龄的增长而不断的降级。

“如何解决夫妻谁主事的难题。其实这个问题解决不好也会影响家庭和睦。

刚一结婚,俺就把此事提到议事日程。学生刚一出口,老师就给出了答案:男子汉要主大事,老婆只主小事。老师的话在理。

二十年过去了,俺这男子汉突然想起了当初的君子协定,就觉得自己没主过什么事而感到奇怪。便直言讨教老师。这回看老师该如何答复。

老婆说咱家平平安安,结婚以来没有过大事啊?

俺想把一大碗冰水倒在自己的脑袋上浇浇头,清醒清醒。想想这二十年来到底有没有过大事。想来想去,发现问题的关键要有个标准。什么是大事什么算小事,有了标准,以前的过去了就过去了,至少今后就有了个尺子。

老婆一听,说家庭里的事哪有什么大事。俺听后便问那总该有个标准吧,老婆说,大事吗,其实说起来还真不少。比如美国该不该打伊拉克呀,台湾会不会独立呀,伊朗核危机会不会引发战争啊,这些不都是大事吗?你不是常常思考这些事吗?家里的事你操心吗?

俺一听,老婆说的在理,这些是大事没错,俺经常考虑这些事也没错。问题是这些大事俺做不了主。”

三、讨论主题

老阎以身示范,给出了家里大事小事的界定以及谁做主的解决方案。请阅读标题一中链接的文章,围绕下面的主题畅所欲言:

  1. 除了上述两个很更重要的前提,你认为和睦家庭还有那些先决条件?
  2. 对于老阎家大事小事的界定你是否认可,如果不认可,可否有更好的界定方案?

四、讨论建议

这次讨论的主题没有标准答案,大家可以从理论或实践的角度畅所欲言。

 

by  大智若愚33

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